Tuesday, February 20, 2007

Look, I'm still Here! and I can still ramble...

Howdy. Been quite a while... I intended to write regularly but, um... not so much in practice. I have excuses (who doesn't?): we moved, we had the whole family here for Thanksgiving... Ok, that really only covers November doesn't it? But wait, just like Ginsu knives - there's more! At the endof November my hubby was offered an interesting job opportunity in California so we planned to move (again). Beginning in December he was commuting between Seattle and California each week so I was Pooh Bear's sole caregiver and I just couldn't find the energy to post (the idea being that Pooh Bear and I would move down to CA late February to mid-March).

*A quick aside here - I have SOOOOOOOOO much respect and admiration for single parents now. I have no idea how you do it. You must be stronger than I am! Actually, I've been impressed by single parents ever since my daughter was born but now my admiration has increased a hundred-fold.*

At any rate, life felt unbelievably crazy and I was anxious about picking up everything and heading down the coast. I felt overwhelmed by being with my daughter every moment of practically every day. I felt guilty for feeling like I was going to lose my mind if I spent one more minute with my daughter who is so cute and adorable, who I love dearly, and who really is well behaved. I just felt trapped. I was mad at my husband for putting me in a situation that made me anxious, depressed and guilty. Then I felt more guilty for being mad at him for seizing a great career opportunity - how selfish could I be? I was not a happy camper. My poor husband. I nearly tore his head off every time I saw him. It was ridiculous. All week I couldn't wait for him to come back home and then when he arrived I was a woman possessed. I was not nice. I yelled, I screamed, I pouted. I was a three year old (that might be an insult to three year olds). I was stressed and depressed and handled it extremely badly.

And then, an end of January miracle. The clouds parted and the sun appeared. After a meltdown involving a multitude of tears on my part and some job dissatisfaction on Hubby's part, we changed our minds. California was not going to happen. It was like flipping a switch. I'm happy to say I am now a normal person again. Seriously. Like it never happened. I am ecstatic. I can now really unpack and settle into the beautiful new house we purchased in October. I can plan Pooh Bear's room decor (pink! gotta get it in before she gets older and hates one her mom's favorite colors).

Even better, Hubby is transitioning out of the CA job which means he is AT HOME, ALL DAY! We can all spend time together! It is fantastic! Last week, the three of us went shopping downtown - on a Thursday. During the day. What a concept! It was a blast :)

So there you have it. My excuses. Moving, Family Holiday, Moving Again, Meltdown. But now: Rebirth. Which brings me to my last mitigating circumstance for my slackness over the last three and a half months...

A baby! That's right. Pooh Bear will get to be the Big Sister. A little brother is expected in mid-July. Very exciting! I feel so trendy as many of my favorite blog writers are also pregnant. It is kind of neat to follow everyone else's progress as they go on this incredible journey.

Anyway, I'll go now. Maybe tomorrow I'll have some knitting content... There has been knitting - at least in the last couple weeks, post-January miracle :)

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